Women for years and years have always had this ideal to be whatever the socially acceptable was for what their physical appearances should be throughout history . I have found that many women, famous or your neighbourhood friend, are and have been willing to do just about anything to attain 'the ideal'. In today's society, 'the ideal' seems to be rail thin. To me, it's never been that attractive. In fact, in some cases it's down right disturbing. It's not always that when you see a thin woman she has an eating disorder. I know a good number of thin women who are naturally quite thin and fit, but I would say about 50-50 is the ratio these days for those with eating disorders.
I'm not actually here to preach to you all about what is 'the ideal' and how you should not try to attain the unattainable. I am just here to share my story with my battle with weight in recent years. It's not that I had been completely lazy and as some people say "let myself go" but I have had some health issues that have thrown some obstacles my way.
In the fall of 2006, I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome or the acronym of PCOS. I was at first in shock because I have never heard of it before, but I was wondering why I had been feeling pain in my lower abdomen and of course seeing a noticeable weight gain. Prior to my diagnosis, I was a woman's North American size 4, and after I was a North American size 6. I was also 31 at the time, and also realized that I was getting older and my metabolism wasn't quite like it once was, so I accepted the gain as something 'natural'.
I was also working a ridiculous amount of hours that year as well working in a sales firm and then trying to start up my own company. I didn't have time for exercise and a healthy lifestyle but I did a huge amount of walking and tried to still find the time to do something physical and fun. So I did for a short amount of time "let myself go". I wasn't feeling bad about it, but I wasn't feeling all that great either. That was a time I also ran into someone I hadn't seen in years, who only remembered me as a 19 year girl who had this amazingly thin body and told me "You got fat." It was hurtful but I managed to just ignore it at the time, but I am not going to lie, the words rung in my head more than I would ever let people know.
One of the symptoms of PCOS is weight gain and obesity and it wasn't one of those putting on 5lbs a year of weight gain it was noticeable and rapid. By the end of 2006, I had moved up to a North American woman's size 10. For my 5'3 frame, I felt and looked huge. During the week of my 32nd birthday in January of 2007, I was in the hospital because of my PCOS, and stayed there for almost a week.
So for the last three years, I have been "playing footsies" with my PCOS-- battling it and then being lazy about taking care of the weight gain. I had lived in three different cities in the last three years that I felt I was always trying to find my footing, so this was the last of my worries.So I prioritized it like it was so. Now that I am back home in Lotus Land, I have no excuse.
When I decided it was time to make a lifestyle change or revamp and setting my goal to be a size 3/4 like I was prior to my PCOS, I was told that it's 'unhealthy' and not natural. Obviously this person never saw me as a size 3/4 on my 5'3 frame. I wasn't rail thin, but I was definitely in shape and athletic. I was also told that I should be happy with the body I was in. I said to myself, "Why?" Why should I pretend to have to be happy with it when I am not? I am a size 3/4 woman trapped in a size 8-9 body. I want out!!!!
I found that people will be negative at your goals because they can't see themselves attain theirs, so in order to feel better about it, they would rather try to shoot you down before you even get out of the gates. I'm far more resilient than that. If I can survive living with an abusive (physically and mentally) ex-boyfriend and then go on to attain the 'successes' I've had in life, I think a little weight loss isn't such a hard thing, don't you?
Within the last three or four months, I made the conscious decision to really put an effort to get myself healthy and see if my lifestyle change with a good nutrition plan and a healthy amount of exercise will help me shed some of this weight gain from the last four years. I am not 'dieting', I don't believe in diets, in fact I think going on a diet is a way to get yourself fat. I am learning to cook my flavourful edible meals in ways of low-fat cooking. I am planning out and doing a great regimen that I used do to working out alongside my good friend Mike (Ingy) at the gym and implement in my schedule. I've learned that I had to be more selfish with my time so I can attain my goals.
I only have one body, I need to take care of it in a healthy way. I have my goals, I want to attain them whether people think I can or not, it doesn't matter. I know I can. It is mind over matter. I know what I can be happy with in terms of my physical appearance. I am not doing anything to harm it. In fact, I am doing all I can to make it better...the RIGHT and HEALTHY way.
It's my body. It's my temple. I want to worship it so I should be able to decide how my temple should look.
Justine Galo
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